Shortly after the tournament started, it was clear who were the good players and who were the donkeys at my table.  Seat-1: solid; Seat-2 total donkey; Seats 3-5 donkeys; Seat-6 Omaha-Guru (me), Seat-7 decent player, but was out of his league; Seat-8 my trusty squire (and part-time donkey:  Kyle); Seat-9 another donkey.  So that's 3 good players, one mediocre player, 4 donkeys, and one total donkey.  Seat-2 played every hand and appeared to be getting VERY lucky by winning a lot of early pots.  I find this is usual for the total donkey-caliber of players.  He was putting bad beats on everybody, except the solid players -- so mostly, he was taking chips from the other donkeys.  This was fine with me, because he would end up giving them all back to me, Kyle, or one of the other two decent players.  Watching this guy play almost became a sport -- with Kyle, myself, and the guy between us making fun of his play, and counting the hands in between his blow ups.

Seat-5 busted first. 

Coming into Seat-5 was a Persian guy with a huge chip stack that was only surpassed by his ego.  Not only was his chip stack high, but so was the level of BS coming out of his mouth.  We first took notice because he was constantly raising.  Everybody suspected larceny and began moaning about his play.  So to prove his point that he's a solid player, he voluntarily turned over the "monster" hand he had just used to pre-flop raise:  AJ44 rainbow.  KY and I were aghast that he considered this a good hand, and this started an interesting debate about the topic.  Needless to say, we were delighted he had such a low threshold for defining a quality hand.  But it seemed like the more hands he played, the more he began to run his mouth.  He was an expert on everything -- from cards to American History.

An American History lesson (from a non-American)

The whole history lesson debate started from a crack comment I had made.  The guy to my left (Seat-7) and I were joking around a little; while he was talking to his girlfriend in Spanish (which didn't bother me a bit).  I cracked a joke that we're not in Aztlan -- at least...not for now (a reference to the name [Aztlan] that many militant immigrants would call this territory if it were ever "liberated" from the United States and given independence, or returned to Mexico).  Seat-7 thought my joke was funny, and returned another joke of his own.  But the Persion guy in Seat-5 wasn't ammused -- and that's when he started his history lesson to teach us how the United States took this territory from the Mexicans by force. 

After the 2nd or 3rd comment, I had heard enough.  So I responded by educating the young guy that the "California ownership debate" was settled about 150 years ago, and we should move on.  But he insisted:  the Americans took the land from Mexico.  Then seemingly all at the same time, three of us -- including the Spanish speaking guy at Seat-7 -- informed him that the United States BOUGHT the land from Mexico, and didn't even fight a war to take it.  So he thought he'd switch gears, and ask about Alaska -- surely we stole that from the Russians.  Once again, we had to educate the moron that the United States purchased this land -- as we did Louisiana and Manhattan.  When he wouldn't shut up, I finally settled the issue with the following comment:  "The United States is not, and never was an imperialist nation...no matter what you may have been taught wherever you grew up..."  With so many people at the table corroborating my historical account of events, the guy thankfully quit trying to teach us our own history.

Let the cards speak for themselves

Once we settled the history lesson, too bad he didn't quit BS-ing about his cards.  No matter what he actually had in his hand, whenever he had to muck his cards, he always claimed to have the 2nd nut boat, or the 2nd nut flush, or the lower two pair, or the 2nd nut low.  Frankly, he was just full of crap, and it was only a matter of time before Kyle or myself would bust him up real good.  I finally struck back, when I tore his stack apart in the following hand.

I was dealt A37J suited -- hearts (jack-high hearts).  After seeing the maniac in Seat-5 raise so many hands, it became easier and easier to call his raises.  As he did often, he raised; but instead of folding, I called -- as did at least three others.  The flop was perfect:

Flop:  26J -- two hearts.

I flopped top pair, the jack-high flush draw, and nut low draw.  As expected, the lunatic in Seat-5 bet.  Instead of raising, I simply called because I was in early position, and so many people were also in the hand.  If I was about to catch a scooping hand, I didn't want to give them any reason to fold before the pot became even larger.

Turn:  26J5 -- three hearts.

Now I have the jack-high flush, and nut low -- all wrapped into one tidy package.  I figured the lunatic would bet, and if he did, I was going to raise.  One would think that I wouldn't want to raise because I wouldn't want to force any of the others downstream out of the hand.  But I also had an ulterior motive for raising -- Kyle was still in the hand, and I wanted to telegraph the strength of my hand to him, so he knew he needed to fold.  Thus when the lunatic bet, I immediately raised.  Unfortunately for Kyle, he couldn't exactly fold his hand.  He was holding A49X -- with a 9-high flush, and 2nd nut low.  He figured that at least one side of his hand was good...but unfortunately for him, it wasn't. 

For whatever reason, the lunatic didn't throw away his hand, -- even when I bet the river (he called).  This proved to be a costly lesson.  Not only did I decimate his chip stack, but he became so short stacked, that he was out within the next 10 (or so) hands. 

The Only Hand I wish I had played

After the hand above, I had the opportunity to take him out, but I passed.  This is the only hand that I will regret not playing.  I was dealt A3QT -- two spaces (QT of spades).  I was in the UTG+1 position -- with the lunatic as UTG.  When he raised, I looked at my hand; and unlike the A37J suited, I didn't like this one quite as much.  It wasn't so much that I didn't like the hand, it was that I didn't like the hand for the early position I was in.  After all, I was only Queen-high suited, and 2nd-nut low draw (pre-flop).  So I asked for some time, thought about it for a moment, and mucked my cards.  On paper, I think this was an even stronger hand than the one I used to tear his stack apart, so in hindsight, I shouldn't have folded. 

By the time the river had come, the board looked like this:

Board:  KJ89A -- with the AKJ of spades.

If you've read my hand correctly, you'll realize that I folded the Royal Flush (spades, at that!)!!!  I will forever regret folding this hand -- not only because I folded the Royal Flush, but because had I been in the hand, I would have made sure to get every last bet out of him, and take him out of the tournament.  (After losing this hand, he was only left with about one bet.)

Everybody else busted out, one-by-one

Eventually most of the original players busted.  Seat-5, 4, 9, 7, 3, and finally Super-Donkey in Seat-2.  As they were replaced with other players -- sometimes huge stacks, sometimes very short stacks; sometimes good players, and sometimes bad players, three things remained constant:  Seats 1, 6 (myself), and 8 (Kyle) remained at the table.

The most dramatic hand at Table-1

The most dramatic hand at this table (Table-13) came shortly before the table was broken up (by this time, Kyle had busted out).  Seat-1 (good player) raised from early position -- which always meant he had pocket aces.  I look down and I have AKK6 -- suited in clubs.  Since I'm on the button, I decide to call because I have position during the entire hand.  The SB also calls, as does the BB.

The Flop:  7T7.

Seat-1 winces as he sees this flop; so for a moment, I'm beginning to think that he raised without AA for the first time during the tournament.  But after taking his time, he decides to bet anyways.  With the bet, I'm only 75% convinced that he has the aces, and 25% doubtful (where before I was 100% convinced), so I decide to call.  But I didn't expect a check-raise from the SB.  I sincerely appreciated the guy telegraphing his hand so well, because now I know that I'm up against a possible full house from the SB and pocket aces from Seat-1 (if he doesn't fold).  Sure enough, Seat-1 doesn't fold, thus telling me that he has pocket aces.  I know I must call and hit a king on the turn to continue, or fold the hand.  If I fold the hand, I'll be left with only 3000 chips, but if I win, I will triple my entire stack during this hand. So I decide to call.

The Turn:  7T7K -- no low possible.

Bingo, I hit magic in a bottle.  Once the betting on this round started, I knew if I raised the turn that nobody would voluntarily commit any more chips to this pot -- and I wouldn't be able to triple up.  However if I raised the river, then I would be all-in with my last 1000 bet.  This strategy also allowed me to get Seat-1 in the hand for an extra bet.

The River:  7T7K3 -- no low possible.

The action continues with the SB betting, Seat-1 calling, and I spring in the raise for my last 2000 chips.  At this point, the SB practically craps his pants because he thought he had surely won the hand and thought my being in the hand was just more chips he was going to rake in.  But my raise caused his head to snap and look.  He knows he's beat, but he has to call anyways.  Seat-1 did NOT follow suit, he knew my raise meant his pocket aces were certainly dead -- and he folded his hand.

I tripled up in that hand -- and now had a healthy 12,500 chip stack.  I should point out that there's a huge difference between how I played this hand, and how a donkey would have played this hand.  A donkey wouldn't know how much trouble he was in until he accidentally won the pot.  In my case, I knew exactly where I stood in the hand at every single point, and made my decisions based on that information.

The table finally broke, and I was moved

We started with 422 players, and were now down to 100 players; meaning the tournament average stack size would be approximately 8000 chips.  So I had more than enough chips to move to my next table, and meet my next set of challenges.

Continue reading:  LA Poker Classic Part-2:  My Final Results